Grammar Bully

I’m a grammar bully. I don’t mean to be a bully, but when it comes to wrong usage, I am. At least for some of them.

If I walk into a restaurant with a chalkboard that has misspelled or misused items on it, I can’t help myself. Sometimes all I have to do is wipe my finger across a misplaced apostrophe. If there’s a way, I’ll fix it.

Lie/Lay

One bit of grammar in particular is used incorrectly over and over again, written and spoken, especially spoken:  “lie” and “lay.”

If you’re going to take a rest, you can go lie down, or you can lay your head on the pillow—but, please, don’t go lay down.

The problem arises because the past tense of lie is lay. This sentence is correct: I lay down an hour ago, but I don’t feel rested, so I’m going to lie down again.

So is this one: You can lay a book on the table, and it will lie there until you pick it up again.

Lay, in the present tense, requires an object after it. You can lay the book down, but don’t lay yourself down. He went into the bedroom to lie down.  Tell the dog to lie down. And the dog did—he lay down (past tense of lie).

Where are you? I’m lying in the shade watching the clouds. The dog is lying beside me, but I laid (past tense of lay) my book on the other side. The dog, though, has lain outside all day (past tense of lie) .

Is it really complicated?

It always seems so clear to me, but while I’m writing this and trying to explain it, it seems complicated. If you look up lie and lay in the dictionary, it must be complicated, because it takes several inches of small type for the dictionary to explain both words. It’s not just because of the usage of lie and lay in this discussion, but it’s also because lie and lay have other meanings, such as lie meaning to tell an untruth, and lay meaning a melody and other ideas.

Just remember: You lie down, or you lay down a while ago, but if you have a book or other object in your hand, you can lay it down, or you laid it down a while ago. Lay and laid (past tense of lay) require something you are doing something to. Lie and lay (past tense of lie) do not.

Here are others that bring out the bully in me

Me ‘n him. Me ‘n her. “Me ‘n Julie are going to the movies today.” I often mutter, “Julie isn’t mean.” If Julie weren’t going, you would say “I am going to the movies today.”

If Julie is coming, too, then put Julie first: Julie and I. Less funny-sounding than I and Julie, though that is correct, too. But “me ‘n Julie?” Oh, please don’t!

Its/It’s

Its and it’s were discussed at length in a previous blog about proofreading and copyediting, but let’s review, because they are so often used incorrectly, too. It’s is a contraction. The apostrophe means there’s a letter left out, as in wasn’t or couldn’t. If you mean “it is”, then “it’s” is proper, as in “It’s my dog.”

If the word is implying possession, then “its” is the right one, as in “Its name is Buddy.”  A little strange because most possessives need an apostrophe: The Smith’s house, meaning the house of Smith, or Richard’s dog. But in this case, its is possessive, without an apostrophe, like hers and his. I’ve even seen hers with an apostrophe: “her’s”. Oh, my. Just typing that makes my grammar bully cringe!

“It’s me” vs. “It is I”, may vs. can, who and whom

Using these three examples correctly sounds pedantic and archaic. My grammar bully hackles don’t rise up on the back of my neck when I hear these used incorrectly, as they almost always are by almost everyone. Even me.

If you’re writing your doctoral dissertation or are presenting your case before the Nobel committee, you might want to express yourself absolutely correctly.

So to review your grandmother’s admonitions and your high school English teacher:

“Can” expresses your ability to do something. “I can do that,” or “Can I get there on time?” and a bunch of other uses.

“May” requests permission to do something: “May I do that?” or another meaning such as: “It may work,” and a few other uses. Other than using can for permission, the other uses are pretty much adhered to.

According to my dictionary, may and can have been used interchangeably for permission since the 1800s, in spite of any of us grammar bullies, like my schoolteacher grandmother.

Who and Whom

Remember learning about subjects and predicates? A subject is a noun, or the name of something. A predicate is what is said about the noun.  Who is the subject.  Whom is the predicate. But it gets more complicated when asking a question: “Who is it?” Suppose the answer is another question: “Whom are you looking for?” is the correct way to express it because “you” is the subject of the sentence. The question actually should be asked this way: “You are looking for whom?”

Forget it! Ask it the way everybody else does: “Who are you looking for?”

“It’s me” and “It is I”

This, too, when used correctly, sounds oh, so pompous. Just say it like everybody else does.

But, please! Use lie and lay, and its and it’s, and Julie and I correctly.