He Said She Said—Some Thoughts on Dialogue

Silence.

Try to picture it: a novel with no dialogue. That would seem cold and distant indeed. Dialogue is showing, not telling what the characters think. It gives us their own tricks of speech, carries the weight of their emotions, lets us literally hear their own voices. Well done, it adds to the force and immediacy of the story. But if we neglect it, dialogue can drag down the pace, unravel the characterizations, even take readers out of the fictional world by making them stop and scratch their heads in confusion. Here’s a subject that deserves some reflection!

Novelistic dialogue has two parts: that which is actually said and that which surrounds the spoken part. We divide the latter into beats and tags. More on those in a minute.

Speech! Speech!

In order to strike the reader as natural, dialogue needs to reflect actual speaking patterns. Are the characters modern Americans or living in a former age? Are they upper class or working people? Educated or not? Teenaged girls or retirees? All of these factors will influence the way they express themselves and will help you establish their class, education, and age for the reader—by showing, not telling. Don’t be afraid to use contractions to establish the informal nature of most modern speech. Who says, “I will come”? We say “I’ll come.” It’s almost always a mistake to make modern speech sound too proper. But in Jane Austen’s England or in formal discourse, you might choose to use the full form to establish formality.

Then, there are the habits of speech each individual employs. These will help you create an unforgettable character because they reveal personality. Do they question themselves constantly or are they assertive? Are there phrases they repeat, eh, doncha know? Do they make grammar mistakes? Do they jump from subject to subject? Who can forget Sheridan’s Mrs. Malaprop, who constantly misused big words!

Speaking of Speaking

The tissue of text around directly quoted conversation is equally important, because it tells us who is speaking and the manner in which they speak. If you think the latter isn’t important, consider how easy it is to misinterpret the tone of a text or an email without the accompanying facial expressions and body language. We often resort to emojis to make clear we’re being ironic or our intention is affectionate. Beats and tags do the same thing.

A tag establishes who says what and possibly how it is said:

• “Your majesty,” said the messenger. “The people cry they have no bread.”
• “Then, let them eat cake,” the queen replied disdainfully.

A beat indicates what expression, body language, or action accompanies the words. Salting a stream of dialogue with sufficient beats makes the scene much more sensory. Cinematic, one might say. Otherwise, it can be like a conversation heard from another room. Try this version of history:

• The messenger sank to his knees, gray-faced. His ripped uniform and disheveled wig made it clear he had broken through the mob by the skin of his teeth. “Your majesty,” he panted. “The people cry they have no bread.”
• “Then, let them eat cake,” the queen replied. She gave a little laugh that seemed to demand of her friends an admiration of her wit. It might have been called disdainful. But her pale eyes were uneasy.

Smoothly Speaking

Another advantage of throwing in a bit of beat is that it imbeds dialogue more smoothly into the narrative. Chunks of naked conversation without any description around them risks sounding to the reader as if they’ve fallen into a play. It can be a jarring change of genres! What’s more, with line after line of bare, unattributed dialogue, it’s hard to keep track of who is speaking.

Here be pitfalls to avoid, though. Too much variation in “speaking” verbs coupled with promiscuous use of adverbs can sound like a parody. “And that,” she opined sniffily, “is that.”

A simple “said” should be the baseline, with other verbs used as spice. So, change things up. Here a tag, there a beat. And what your readers will be saying is, “What a great book!”