“It is the nature of the artist to mind excessively what is said about him. Literature is strewn with the wreckage of men who have minded beyond reason the opinions of others.” —Virginia Woolf
Writers invite criticism. We share our work with other writers and seek their advice; we submit our writing to editors for feedback; and we send our precious creations out into the world hoping they’ll be accepted for publication or win an award. There we risk receiving perhaps the most potent form of criticism of all—rejection.
What writer hasn’t been stung by a critique? Sure it hurts, but criticism’s power to poison isn’t a given. The poison isn’t inherent in what is said, who delivers it, where or when it happens, or its tone. The potential damaging power of criticism lies in how we take it in, what we allow it to mean to us, and the way we allow it to negatively affect our work or eat away at our insides.
But there is also great danger in making ourselves deaf and blind to criticism. We can lose out on receiving important information to help us grow as writers.
Here are some techniques for managing criticism.
Decide your writing matters.
This is huge. Your deep conviction that your writing matters—really, really matters—will be your suit of armor and protect you from all obstacles, including the sting of criticism. The famous and successful are not immune to rejection, criticism, or performance anxiety. They just press forward despite it.
Ask for feedback only when you’re truly ready to hear it.
A work in early draft may be too frail and tender for criticism (and so may its author). When your work is first forming, it is all too easy to get discouraged by other people’s comments. Sometimes writers show their work early because they’re craving encouragement and praise. Be honest with yourself and others about what you’re looking for when you ask people to respond to your work. Consider letting new work sit awhile before sharing it.
Manage your self-talk.
Being able to rigorously critique your own work is an essential part of the writing process, but you may become discouraged when what you’re producing doesn’t match your ideal. Anxiety over this can be helpful when it encourages you to recognize work beneath your standard and revise it, though. The inner critic is really only dysfunctional when it can’t make the shift away from fault-finding.
Be calm, cool, and collected.
For most of us, receiving criticism stirs up strong emotions. Unchecked, your emotions may rise to anger or defensiveness that will negatively affect your ability to receive and process valuable information. Separate the criticism from the person who delivered it, from their tone of voice, and from every emotional context or perception. Just listen. Then step away from the work and the feedback awhile and allow yourself to process what you’ve heard in calm.
Put some distance between receiving and responding.
Often, writers have one of two immediate reactions to feedback.They rush in to make changes in their work to “fix the problem” or they react angrily or defensively and automatically discard the validity of the critique. Neither reaction is helpful. Instead of responding immediately, put the feedback and your writing away for a few days or a week or so. Allow your emotional response to the critique to subside. Then ask for clarifications if necessary. Put some time and space between receiving the feedback and how and if you act on it, and you’ll be able to respond more objectively and thoughtfully.
Evaluate, don’t react.
Start with the assumption there is a nugget of truth in every criticism. Look for that nugget and discard the rest. Often, our beta readers will be right about where the problem in our work lies, but wrong about how to solve it. Listen to feedback but make your own decisions. You are the author, and the pen remains in your hand. And yes, sometimes criticisms are just plain unfair, but probably not as often as we’d like to believe. Take your time to process. Look for that nugget.
These techniques are not easy. They require practice. Just remember: Criticism can’t hurt you if you truly embrace the notion that the power of criticism to be constructive, destructive, or neutral resides solely inside of you. You make the choice.
