We have three forms of dialogue markers to let the reader know which character is speaking: speech tags, action tags, and thought tags. While writers tend to rely heavily on speech tags, the other forms offer variety to the reader and another way to create depth in the story.
Speech Tags
For 99 percent of the time, the word “said” is the best choice for a speech tag because it registers with the reader but does not distract the reader from the story. If the character’s words are weak, using an adverb won’t strengthen them.
In fact, many creative speech tags are unintentionally funny or melodramatic. For example, picture this:
“No, you don’t,” he exploded.
Using adverbs with dialogue tags often repeats the meaning of what is spoken. Redundancy, anyone? For example:
“Abracadabra,” she said magically.
“Oh, no!” she said loudly.
“I’ll shoot you,” he said threateningly.
“Maybe,” she said uncertainly.
And can we agree that a book should have only one exclamation point every 50 pages? If the quoted words are weak, exclamation points will not improve them either. Revise the spoken parts until they carry the weight of meaning rather than relying on punctuation. Dialogue peppered with exclamation points is like the laugh track on a lousy situation comedy. It doesn’t work, and it feels artificial.
Certain dialogue tags can reveal how a character speaks but use these sparingly. Examples: He stuttered, she mumbled, he whispered, she rasped, he hissed. If overused, they distract and annoy the reader by reminding the reader that the author is at work. The next time you read a best-selling author’s work, pay attention to the speech tags.
Simple speech tags become most valuable when three or more people interact in the same scene. For the most part, however, action tags and thought tags work better to draw the reader into the story.
Action Tags
Action tags break up conversations to remind the reader what the characters are doing while they talk and how they react to one another. Characters should not be floating heads in space. Anchor the characters to their setting. As a rule, after four exchanges of dialogue, use an action tag or thought tag to break up the talking. Very rarely do people stand stock still, facing one another to talk. What are they doing during their conversation? Where are they? How do they interact with their environment and one another? Do they get interrupted by sounds and smells or distracted by animals or small children?
Action tags show a character’s behavior and reactions during a conversation, such as whether or not the words match or conflict with feelings. Teasing? Conflicted? Ambivalent? Add physical reactions to places where actions are directed against or toward your point-of-view character. Action tags (physical reactions) should show emotion without labeling the emotion.
“Are you here alone?” she asked seductively. (Tells by labeling.)
She walked her fingertips up his arm. “Are you here alone?” (Shows seductive action.)
Describe body language and facial expressions so accurately that you don’t have to label them. What does “angry” look like on your character? Does a toddler show anger the same way an adult does? Describe rather than tell. Find the specific details that reveal emotion through behavior.
Remember, emotions can be complex and layered. When someone tells an insulting or off-color joke, people might laugh not because it was funny but because it shocked them or made them uncomfortable. How would you describe an awkward laugh and the body language that goes with it?
Action tags break up a long passage from one character, so it doesn’t come off as a monologue or speech. Does the speaker hold up a hand to stop someone from interrupting? Is the speaker so excited that he’s unaware when others stop paying attention?
Thought Tags
Thought tags (or internal monologue) reveal the point-of-view character’s thoughts and feelings during a conversation. A character’s thoughts and feelings generally belong in the narrative instead of being spoken by the character. Characters will speak their minds at times, but announcing all one’s thoughts and feelings creates an odd character. The same goes for characters who talk to themselves. The reader will wonder why.
Some authors like to mark all the point-of-view characters’ thoughts and feelings and inner monologues in italics. While the use of italics emphasizes a word, phrase, or sentence, its overuse dulls the effect. I believe thought tags should flow with the narrative. In stories told from a deep point of view, all the narrative in a scene will be from a singular character’s point of view. It should not be necessary to set off thought tags in italics.
I have read stories in which characters communicate telepathically, and their telepathic messages are in italics while their spoken words are set in quotations. Choose a consistent style and aim for clarity over uniqueness.
For this blog post, the example thought tags are in italics.
“Heard you got a job driving. How does that work with your drinking problem?”
Bastard. “That was a long time ago.”
Thought tags can appear as emotions, observations, and questions. For example:
She drummed her green acrylic nails on the countertop while she stared over the reception desk at the guard on the phone. Vincent must be screening his calls.
The guard placed his hand over the mouthpiece. “Are you Rose?”
“No.” Martina huffed. Is he still seeing that skank?
By using thought tags and action tags, you can reduce the need for speech tags such as “he said” and “she said” and use tags to dive deeper into the story.
Resources:
- Character, Emotion & Viewpoint by Nancy Kress, Writers Digest Books
- Dialogue by Gloria Kempton, Writers Digest Books
- How to Write Dazzling Dialogue by James Scott Bell, Compendium Press.
Sharon K Connell
Dialogue tags are rarely used in my writing, although occasionally needed. However, I don’t see any reason not to use the other words that are appropriate in place of “said” if there’s no other way to show the force or emotion of the statement made. Whispered is a good example.
Most of the time, I use action beats to identify the speaker or who is performing a certain action. I also use thought tags, but they are never in italics unless it is a first person direct thought. Most of my characters’ thoughts are in third person, past tense, and plain type.
The only other reason I will use an italicized word is for emphasis. In that way, an exclamation mark is rarely needed. I only use exclamation marks when someone is shouting, speaking a word or two loudly, or in surprise.
You are correct in saying that, used too often, italics and exclamation marks lose their effectiveness. The same holds true with ellipses and em-dashes. They are for special use.
Joni M. Fisher
Thank you, Sharon! I agree. When I see overuse of ellipses, it leads me to wonder if finishing the thought could have been more powerful. Why make the reader play fill in the blank?