Sculpting the Shapely Sentence: 5 Techniques

There are sentences, lyrics, or lines of poetry that stay in the mind. How does that happen? Why do we remember lines such as:

• “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” (Lord Acton)
• “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…” (Charles Dickens)
• “I am Sam, Sam I am.” (Dr. Seuss)
• “The name’s Bond. James Bond.” (Ian Fleming)
• “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” (Saint Paul)

In large part, we remember lines like these because they are sculpted using powerful literary devices out of the writer’s toolbox. These are powerful tools. These are simple tools. As simple as Michelangelo’s chisel and mallet. All writers can employ them—especially during the revision phase of writing.

Once you’ve gotten the bulk of the plot shaped, or the essence of a poem properly developed, go back and see where you can work lines to make them elegant and memorable. Of course, you’re not going to do this for every sentence or line. But  you want to at important points such as openings, critical plot turns, points of amassed emotion, refrains, and endings.

The powerful literary devices that I’m talking about are rhetorical elements. I know, I know, . . . that word rhetorical is enough to dampen anyone’s party. It smacks of old school grammar books and boring schooldays spent staring out the window. So, let’s call it something else! How about playful elements? That sounds better. And it’s a fitting word for the fun we can have with these devices.

Let’s look at five playful elements that the lines above illustrate.

Side note: you don’t have to memorize the hard-to-pronounce names of these techniques! You won’t be tested on them. Just have fun and write well.

Playful element #1: Polyptoton

In this technique, words derived from the same root word but which have different meanings, are used in the same sentence, phrase or paragraph. Hence, in the quote above from Lord Acton the words absolute (an adjective) and absolutely (an adverb) create polyptoton.

A more playful example is found in works by Dr. Seuss—who was an expert at the use of literary devices. For example, this line from the book Oh, The Thinks You Can Think! “There are so many thinks that a Thinker can think.” It’s a great example of the fun that can be had with polyptoton.

Playful Element #2: Antithesis

Antithesis is simply making a straightforward statement, and then following it with an unexpected turn, as in the excerpt above from the famous opening by Dickens in A Tale of Two Cities, or my less lofty lines, “These are powerful tools. These are simple tools.” Antithesis is a comparison gone askew.

Mark Forsyth in his fun-to-read and helpful book The Elements of Eloquence explains antithesis as X=Y and not X=not Y.

Oscar Wilde was famous for these pithy sayings. (Among other things he was famous for!) Here’s a couple from Wilde:

• “When we are happy, we are always good, but when we are good, we are not always happy.” (The Picture of Dorian Gray)
• “The play was a great success, but the audience was a failure.”

Antithesis often makes us stop in our tracks and realize that it is a comparison that might need thinking about.

Playful Element #3: Anadiplosis

Anadiplosis is using the last word of a sentence, or phrase, to begin the next sentence or phrase. Such as in the Dr. Seuss quote: “I am Sam, Sam I am.” Below are other examples.

From the song Dem Bones by James Weldon Johnson:

The leg bone’s connected to the knee bone

The knee bone’s connected to the thigh bone

The thigh bone’s connected to the hip bone . . .

From Jesse Jackson’s 1988 Democratic National Convention Speech: “Suffering breeds character; character breeds faith; in the end faith will not disappoint.”

Playful Element #4: Diacope

Diacope is using identical words or phrases that are separated by a different word or phrase. Such as, “The name’s Bond. James Bond.”

Or the title of the book Go, Dog. Go! by P. D. Eastman.

And, of course, there is the unforgettable “Free at last. Free at last. Thank God almighty we are free at last.” by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Playful Element #5: Epistrophe

Epistrophe is the technique of using the same word(s), or a variation thereof, to end every line in a stanza, phrase in a long sentence, or sentence in a paragraph. Such as the quote above from Saint Paul, in the book of 1^st Corinthians.

Here’s another you know well from Abraham Lincoln in the Gettysburg Address: “…that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.” This device is used quite often in song lyrics.

Here’s an example from Just Like a Woman by Bob Dylan:

“She takes just like a woman, yes, she does.

She makes love just like a woman, yes, she does.

And she aches just like a woman,

But she breaks just like a little girl.”

Why Use These Techniques?

Why dust off and use these old literary devices that have been sitting in any writer’s toolbox since the classical age? (Other than the fact that they can be fun to play with.) Good writers use them because the sense of repetition each engenders the hearer/reader to remember the line. They add emphasis and music to our writing. Most are devices that surprise us by comparing and contrasting, while at the same time reminding us of what’s important, or simply enjoyable.

When you’re staring at that rough block of writing you’ve just created as a first, second, or third draft, that’s the time to start shaping—to bring out the elegance and create something memorable. Take these simple tools in hand and try it! See what loveliness you can sculpt. As Michelangelo said, “I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to other eyes as mine see it.”