Writers know that emotion is an important part of a story. It draws the reader in and gets them invested in what is happening. It allows them to become emotionally attached to the characters (good or bad) and either cheer them on or applaud their demise.
Just a Sigh…
There are passages in my story where the character audibly sighs. She’s frustrated, sad, or exasperated at the situations she’s found herself in. So I’m writing along, getting all invested in my characters and their emotions, and my subconscious sends me a reminder: You’ve been using this word a LOT. After I finish the scene, I do a “Find” in Word and type in the word “sigh.” WOW. I’ve used it 20-30 times. That’s a red flag if I ever saw one.
Sigh Solutions
Well, that just complicated my scenes. There aren’t many synonyms for “sigh.” Not many that are good fit for my scene, anyway. That means I have to look at every instance and see where the word “sigh” must remain and where there are other places that I can replace it with something else. Because my choices are limited, I ended up re-writing the sentences, or in some instances, the entire paragraph (and beyond). Lesson learned.
Going Forward
Every time I get that quiet nudge from my subconscious, I jump over to the “Find” option and see how many times I’ve used that particular word. I’d rather do it now in the rough draft stage as opposed to when the entire first draft is done. It’s just my way of working; you may have another stage of your writing where this works for you. The reason I do it as soon as I’m aware of it is that I end up editing that area, which may change or affect what comes next. Sometimes changing a word/sentence/paragraph opens up a door to change that makes the story better. In some instances, “Replace” is a great tool as well, but that’s a slightly different correction for me — like if I called my main character Mary instead of Maggie.
I’m one of those “correct as I write” writers, but your own method will hopefully find you searching and changing at some point in the process. I know doing this eliminated a lot of sighing on my (and my readers) part.
Lausanne Carpenter
“turned” – my characters are always turning. Sigh…
Anne
Each to their own, right? ?
VERONICA H HART
I sighed when I read this and then checked on my current WIP which is just under 40K words. One sigh! Somehow, when I read this blog I had the idea that my characters sighed a lot. Perhaps subconscious editing?
Anne
Whatever works! Glad you were pretty much sigh-free!
Jack Courtney
Spot on Anne!
Anne
Thanks! Hope it helped! ??
SHEREE A WOOD
Anne,
I loved your column. I liked hearing that you try to fix “little” things in the first draft before they become a huge problem in revision. You said, “The reason I do it as soon as I’m aware of it is that I end up editing that area, which may change or affect what comes next.” That makes great sense to me. Many “crappy first draft” enthusiasts would disagree, but I am definitely in your camp on this one.
Sheree
Anne
Thanks! Glad I’m not alone on that one! I like to fix as much as I can as I write. It’s just the way I work.
Temple Emmet Williams
I belong to the School of “he said/she said.” Elmore Leonard, a great mystery writer (books like Get Shorty) felt great dialogue should not require anything more. If the scene does not create a sigh, or anger, or love, or laughter, rewrite the scene.
Anne
Good ideas!
J. H. Tabbott
Aaaah! I find my key characters often “take a deep breathe,” “exhale slowly,” or otherwise “sigh.” I haven’t used-but have not ruled out-“gulp.” But they sometimes also “cough.”
Occasionally, they only pause, scrunch their nose, brush their hair away, shift uncomfortably in their seat, or other such personal reaction. But there is something universal and indelibly human in the sigh. It is almost as innately automatic as the yawn, and yet can convey so much more.
So we should not be ashamed if our characters sigh. And–as in real life–there are characters who feel so constantly ill-used they become expert at the art of sighing to express their angst (“oh, poor me!”). As an author, you might even consider exposing these charlatans, making their penchant for sighing one of their identifiable affectations for readers to recognize.
Anne
Good advice!
Niki Kantzios
I love your idea of using a word search. Thanks for the tip! It deserves a sigh of relief.
Anne
Thanks! A good reason to sigh! ?
Mark H. Newhouse
I try to substitute physical mannerisms and actions for sighing: e.g. wringing her hands, brushing a hand through her hair, sucking in her lips. I found this a real issue in my series, The Devil’s Bookkeepers, because it is like a Twelve Angry Men, with men debating the events as they took place in the Holocaust ghetto my parents miraculously survived. A lot of emotions within dialogue that would provoke sighing. Thanks for a very helpful article.
Anne
Glad you enjoyed, and thanks for the great suggestions!
Sidney
I have read work that includes so many instances of sighing, nodding, grinning, exhaling, pausing, or arching eyebrows that it became hilarious. (Synonyms of same don’t really help.) Fine for first drafts, but it’s good for the writer to become aware of such repetition and take care of it in revision.
May I add to what those who advocate “brushing a hand through hair” or “scrunching nose” or the like have said? Character tics and actions should have some meaning. Like everything else in the story, they should reveal character or advance plot. Characters shouldn’t just do something for the sake of movement, because that, too, can become silly after awhile (or lead the reader to believe that the character is in physical distress) especially when they are in perpetual motion.
Anne
Great points to remember, thank you!
Ken Pelham
Yeah, in edits I strike out a bunch of sighs. Reading the responses above gives me another list of search-and-destroy words.
Anne
Search and destroy! Love it!