Gifts for Your Writer: 2022

It’s gift-giving season again! I’ve written several times about appropriate gifts for writers. (See FWA blog posts on writer gifts: Dec. 9, 2020 and Dec. 3, 2021.) However, writers are needy, you know. They require all the help they can get. The items on those earlier lists remain excellent gifts for your whiny writer. But there’s always more to consider. How about gifting your writer with one of the items below? (And get me a little nosh, while you’re at it. Pretty please.)

A great online course

Masterclass is a class act. Courses are taught by the likes of Neil Gaiman, Judy Blume, R. L. Stine, or Margaret Atwood. And if your writer ends up writing a fantastical coming-of-age story in a scary alternate universe where writers are revered and waited upon my handmaidens . . .  Hey! That’s something.

Writers Clock

Thinking of that alternate universe, what about a clock to go with it? Here’s one at Zazzle that’s accurate to the nearest heave of a writer’s weak heart.

Comfy pajamas

And while your writer is staring daggers at that clock, or participating in the online Masterclass, why not a comfy pair of pajamas? Get that writer out of his/her/their wretched Dickensian doss-house dress and into something a little conducive to the creative flow of things. There’s nothing like good velvet. Here’s a fine article by Vogue on the very best pajamas. What about those Ralph Lauren’s? (You can’t afford to skimp on your investment in your writer!)

Tools of the trade

Every writer likes to be comfortable while writing. (You can’t expect War and Peace when a writer’s got a cramped wrist, now can you?) And since we know writers prefer not to waste time actually getting out of bed (Goodness knows what our characters might get up do!), to go along with those comfy pajamas please consider getting a laptop holder to be used right there among the coverlets—by Huanuo. This one comes with a wrist rest, a built in mouse pad, and holders for one’s tablet, pen and phone.

Software

There are a couple of software applications that would be real boons to your overworked and stressed-out writer. The first is Freedom which allows your writer to shut off other online apps and programs so as not to distract him/her/them from the door-stopper opus that is being written right there under your roof. (Do remember to pat your writer on the shoulder from time to time. Encouragement is always a wonderful gift mixed with a dash of adoration. It adds piquancy.) And there are voice recognition software programs for when your writer’s overworked hands and fingers are just too bruised to write another word or push a key. (This happens more often than you’d think.) This one, Dragon by Nuance, has gotten good reviews. It allows your writer to dictate a story anywhere he/she/they happen to be.

Subscriptions

Writing magazines are always appreciated, such as The Writer, or Poets and Writers. But while you’re at it, consider hiring a reader to come in and sit by your writer’s bed and read the articles aloud. That way there is no need for your writer to worry about such plebian concerns as turning pages. Your writer’s brain can stay laser-focused on the contretemps that is the Oxford comma.

Helpful items to calm the family life

While one’s family should only intrude upon the Greatness writing in your home under dire need, there are gifts that can help soothe the worries of your writer and the rest of the family. What about a certificate for house-cleaning? Get someone to delicately (and as quietly as possible) vacuum up the cookie detritus that surrounds the bed. This will free up the other homebodies to fetch items and care for their writer.

Time Away

If the world is just getting too much for your writer to deal with,  may I suggest a nice hotel room stay for a few days. Allow your writer to recuperate from any troublesome aspects of home life and really crank out that opus. (You wouldn’t believe how itchy sheets can become after months writing from within them!) And while your writer is hidden away, do be sure to arrange for a goodly supply of wine and chocolates. (Preferably Chateau LaFleur and some dark champagne truffles by Teuscher.)  The creative brain simply must be fed the best.

Florida Writers Goodies

Finally, there are some really cute items available at the FWA Etsy store. What about a soft T-shirt for your writer to relax in after that epic poem or door-stopper novel is out the door and on its into the world? Or that “Writer at Work” mug? It’s perfect for your writer to lift in a limp hand so that he/she/they can be refreshed with a favorite libation and get started on that next tour de’force.

Now, please excuse me. I want to post this list in a subtle, yet intriguing spot—like on the refrigerator—for a certain family member to spy. And while I’m there I might could rouse myself for another little nosh. I really am famished and weak from doing battle with double modal verbs. It’s exhausting. (Do be kind and pour a little wine in my glass, will you?)