Writing with Muscular Metaphors

In July of 2021 I wrote about Stimulating Similes. Now, t’s about time we got around to talking about metaphors—the big sister/brother of similes. Metaphors have more muscle than similes, and less tact. Rather than using a qualifying word such as “like” or “as” between two comparisons, metaphors just blurt out that one thing is another. Sure, tougher sibling Metaphor can be a bit rude, but it does its job quickly and without a lot of extraneous verbiage. For example, “John is a bulldog when it comes to getting the best seat.” Or this Winston Churchill comment about John Foster Dulles, “He’s the only bull that brings his own china shop with him.” Put-downs often rely upon metaphor, such as in this one by Martin Mull,  “Hollywood is high school with money.”

If you look closely you’ll see that metaphors are everywhere, especially in everyday speech. We often say, “the economy demands,” “the mouth of the river,” “table legs.” These are all metaphors that say one thing is another—in the above cases; concepts, nature, and objects are like parts of the human anatomy. Often these metaphors do not use the word “is.” The verb is implied. Or, as in the following example by Marlene Dietrich, it may take a moment to recognize the saying as a metaphor. “Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast.”

Making Metaphors

What’s important in making a metaphor is that the two halves of the comparison need to fit. Basically, the equation for a metaphor is A=B. To make sure your metaphors work, brainstorm the A part of the equation first.  Let’s say we want to find a metaphor for coffee. First, jot down words/phrases that quicky come to mind about coffee. For example: strong, aroma, brisk, morning refreshment, fogginess dissolving, wake-up crutch, etc. Then see if you can find something else that shares one or more of those elements. Perhaps a walk through a snowstorm? Snowstorms can be foggy, brisk, have their own aromas, and can certainly wake you up.

Extended Metaphors

Sometimes it takes a few lines to really get the metaphor working.  They are not all as succinct as “A one-man slum.” (Anonymous. Said of Heywood Boun). Some are deepened by filling out the metaphor and creating its own little world on the page. This can happen with poems that extend the metaphor all the way through such as in this poem by Alan Dugan. It compares a marriage/a life to building a house. Here’s a bit of it:

from Love Song: I and Thou

Nothing is plumb, level, or square:
the studs are bowed, the joists
are shaky by nature, no piece fits
any other piece…

…but I planned it. I sawed it,
I nailed it, and I
will live in it until it kills me.

Here’s an extended metaphorical poem I wrote about marriage. (From my book, The Way to the River.)

Navigation

The couch rises a few inches, drifts sleepily past.
The book you laid on the coffee table lifts—the coffee table too.
All the accoutrements of a marriage float—we’re in no danger.
They bob with ease and humble elegance—
my shoes, the television set, pictures of the children, our bedding.
And sparkling upward, the lost earring I’d fretted over.
I open my hand and it wafts onto my palm.

I turn and you are here, beside me, navigating this life.
Mid-current we gaze toward an oil slick. It does not break apart,
sink, or dissolve. It has found some anchorage amid our days—
work, appointments, plans, your cancer, my fears.

This morning, we do not mention the dark stain awash with us
as the couch nudges the back of my leg for attention,
as you hold out your cup. As coffee—sweetened—
floats effortlessly to my lips.

Exercise Your Metaphor Muscle

For further play with metaphor try this exercise from The Poet’s Companion by Kim Addonizio and Dorianne Laux. Describe an everyday activity such as cooking, cleaning, repairing something, etc., which could stand in for how you see yourself in the world. Start out by brainstorming ideas and words associated with that activity. Now, how are you like some aspects of the activity you chose?

If you liked that exercise and want more info on how to power-up your poems come join me at Florida WritersCon 2023, October 20-22. I’ll be presenting two programs on writing poems. On Friday it’s Pump Up the Muscle in Your Poems!  And on Saturday I’ll be presenting a survey program called That’s a Poem? The Crazy World of Poetry Today. I’d love to see you there!

Resources

• The Poets Companion by Kim Addonizio and Dorianne Laux.
• I Never Met a Metaphor I Didn’t Like by Dr. Mardy Grothe
• “Love Song: I and Thou” by Alan Dugan
• “Making Metaphors with a Roll of the Dice” (FWA post) by Shutta Crum