Who’s in Charge Here?  Using Who, Whom, Which and That

I’m no Grammar Girl, but I was lucky enough to have gone to grammar school back when they really did teach grammar. And I just read a book that abused English grammar so badly that it was about as much fun to read as having your teeth drilled.

Guess what, folks?

Without correct grammar, it’s impossible to say what you mean.

So be patient while I rant a little. It never hurts to be made freshly aware of things you already know.

Relatively Speaking

Who, which, and that are relative pronouns. They refer/relate back to some person or thing already mentioned. Who refers to people. That and which refer to things.

The sandwich that you ordered is ready.

The river, which had overflowed its banks, was finally receding.

Among the teachers who have taught here before is Mr. Jones.

To Whom It May Concern

But there are a few tricks lurking in that seeming simplicity. First off, unlike nouns, which have lost their declensions in English, who is still declined. That is, its form (case) changes according to how it’s used in the sentence. That’s not too complicated.

The dog, whose master had come for him, barked joyfully.

The possessive case is used to show possession (surprise!). Whose master? The dog’s master.

Jane, whom I took to the dance, thanked me.

I took whom=what girl? Jane. Whom is in the accusative case, the object of the verb. This form in’t much used in speech anymore, but it’s still used in formal writing. And without it, your meaning may not be clear. Simple enough, really.

The Plot Thickens

But sometimes the relative pronoun is in a subsidiary clause of a complex sentence, and then choices must be made.

I saw the girl who had embarrassed me waiting for the bus.

Wait! Girl is the object of the verb (I saw girl). Shouldn’t the pronoun relating to her be in the accusative case—whom? No, because who had embarrassed me is a separate clause within the larger sentence—a “sentence” (with a subject, object, and verb) within a sentence—that collectively identifies girl. And what is the subject of that “sentence”/clause? Who. Nominative case.

That Which Is Next

When we turn to that and which, both referring to inanimate objects rather than people, another little complication arises. That is used—without commas—to give a necessary identification.

The sandwich that you ordered is ready.

We haven’t mentioned any sandwiches, and without some kind of precision, nobody would know which one is meant. This is a restrictive (necessary) clause. Alert: increasingly, some grammarians say either pronoun can be used in this situation. Or indeed, left out altogether. But:

The river, which had overflowed its banks, was finally receding.

We already know which river is under discussion. It’s been in all the news because of the flood. You don’t really need this additional clause to identify it (non-restrictive). And you can only use which here, set off by commas to show it’s parenthetical in nature.

Pop quiz: does this sentence

The dog, whose master had come for him, barked joyfully.

Differ from this sentence?

The dog whose master had come for him barked joyfully.

Yes! In the first case, we know which dog is being discussed. All we’re adding is that his master has arrived. In the second case, we can pick this anonymous dog out from the others only by the fact that he’s ready to go home with his master.

There you have it. The sort of rules that make English precise and nuanced. Without them, the reader won’t know exactly what you want to say. And there’s a goal that’s worth a little effort!